If there is a good way to link directly to an Amazon user review, then please tell me. In the meantime, I will paste this inspired comment I found on the Amazon listing for the dvd versions of the original trilogy coming out soon.

AN OPEN LETTER TO GEORGE LUCAS: (by David Cordes)

Dear George,

Thanks for giving us the greatest saga of all time and thanks for raping your loyal fans out of every penny they’ve worked for because you think we are all mindless sheep that will buy any junk you feed us with the Star Wars brand stamped onto it. You tease us by finally releasing the original un-cut theatrical versions of the Star Wars films on DVD with shoddy NON-ANAMORPHIC Bantha poo-doo quality transfers directly from the 1993 Definitive Collection Laserdiscs and you think we will all happily buy them and it will shut up all of us whiny fanboys like a politician giving a lollypop to a child while you laugh all the way to the bank. You, sir, are the epitome of GREED… or to be more precise… YOU ARE GREEDO ! ! ! THIS is the reason why Han shot Greedo first ! ! ! You can take your non-anamorphic HAN SHOT FIRST crappy DVD’s and eat it! You have become the evil Emperor your films have always warned us against and that makes you a hypocrite! I will be boycotting these DVD’s with a Rebel Blockade until you preserve the originals with the artistic integrity and respect they rightfully deserve for history’s sake.

Gone he is… Consumed by the Dark Side!

Yoda would be ashamed!

I’m probably not going to buy these either. I’ve spent enough money in the Star Wars universe.

This movie plumbs the depths of hitherto unfathomable retardedness. This isn’t really news — I mean, hey, anybody who didn’t realize it was going to stink is probably a few clams short of a chowder.

But I like to watch big budget stinkers, and this one obliges me to make a few comments:

First of all, I’m upset that she didn’t become Catwoman after getting bit by a radioactive cat. That would have been a nice twist, and radioactive animals are so hot right now. This is not my major beef, however.

Nor is the fact that Halle Berry acting like a cat is one of the stupidest things ever committed to film. First of all, what’s with all the squatting? She prances around her apartment, and then she stops and squats there. Do cats squat? I’m not much of a cat person, but I think they only do that in their litter box.

She hisses at dogs, and she can’t control herself around fish, and she makes a lot of purring kinds of sounds.. Ok, she’s a cat — whatever. Like I said, this is not my major beef. It’s just stupid, and she’s not very good at it.

There’s one scene where she randomly gets roped into playing basketball with this guy that likes her. He doesn’t realize she’s a cat, and in fact, she doesn’t quite realize this yet either. This is an obligatory discovering new powers scene. In this case, her newly discovered power — inherited from a cat, mind you — is the ability to play basketball.

She double-dribbled a lot. I guess that was to show that knowledge of the rules of basketball were not also passed on to her by the cat. That would have been silly.

OK, so the plot is stupid. That has been established, and it’s no surprise. But this isn’t my major beef either.

The worst thing about this movie is the soundtrack. It alternates between an orchestral superhero-score-by-numbers and simply nauseating urban soul crap.

I’m teetering on the brink of cultural insensitivity here, but I have to say this because it seems like a trend:

Just because the main actor in a movie is black doesn’t mean the soundtrack has to be a hip-hop cliche.

This movie, and some others recently — Shark Tale comes to mind — seem like they grafted urban elements onto a movie just because they found a black guy to be the main character.

Has anybody else noticed this, or am I out bicycling?

I guess it’s all about who the producers are trying to appeal to, and in this case I think they managed to appeal to nobody (except those sexual deviants content to stare at Catwoman’s body the whole time — Who would ever do that? I can’t think of anybody. Sheesh.)

Perhaps their first mistake was hiring a director who calls himself Pitof — isn’t that a rice dish?

Suddenly this movie makes a lot more sense:

An Interpretation of Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut

Was Kubrick killed for telling too much about Illuminati sex-slave programming?

I wanted to make a song called Worms for a Songfight side project over the weekend .

The title reminded me of this dumb old horror movie about killer worms called Squirm. I bought the DVD and spent some time extracting dialog snippets and other musical parts, but I never got around to assembling a song. Hopefully I will actually use these bits some day.

The point of this post, however, is that Squirm is one awesomely bad movie. I highly recommend it, if you are a fan of shlock horror. In fact, I recommend it so highly that I will provide a link so that you can go buy it immediately (quick, before your better judgment takes hold!).

Here it is: